Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Randomize
