I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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