don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
