So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
