walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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