And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
