we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
