So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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