I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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