The maid of honor just puked.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
