Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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