If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
