I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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