Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
