Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
