I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
dude. I can hear the air.
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