Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
