Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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