With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
