By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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