what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
