I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
