I'm drive I can fine osifer
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
