I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
