You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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