508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
i drank out of a bidet.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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