when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
