That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I just had sex on a roof
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
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