just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
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