So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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