do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
