I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
