If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
false alarm, still single
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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