i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
