Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
