You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
