she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
