so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
