This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Even my vagina gasped.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
