wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
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