idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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