wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Reggie can tackle my bush.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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