My friends, they love my intelligence
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
