I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
