East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
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