called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
