U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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