Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
