I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
