5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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