Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
