did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize
