would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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